Last week we started a series at Cross Point Downtown called, “True Love Lies.” Here’s the description:

Perfect love has exactly one object: the mate God has chosen for you, otherwise known as the one true love, or just “the one.” Perfect love is, well perfect. The bad news is that it doesn’t exist between humans. Perhaps what we need is less romance and more love – real love. Real love is less like the overproduced Broadway musical and more like the drama of a neighborhood theater production. It brings people together and forms mutual care and dependence on one another and God. It doesn’t require perfection. It’s time to give up the quest for the perfect mate and idea of “the one”. Join us in February as we unravel “True Love” Lies.

In my life, I spent a lot of time pursuing and waiting for many “the ones”. I’m not sure how many times I said, “I think she’s the one.” It’s time to rethink love and the pursuit of one person and learn how to love…really love.

For more in depth reading about this, check out “Are You Waiting For the One?”.

If you could ask one question about love and relationships, what would it be? Let’s discuss and then join us Sunday night at 8:00 at Rocketown for a panel Q&A discussion where we dive into the questions you ask!

I would like to introduce to you one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. I am still in shock that this kid has some of me in him. He’s amazing. I never knew that I could love someone this much this fast. Mom and I are doing well. We are learning how life is going to be now and adjusting to all the new experiences that come with having a child.

The main thing that I have learned so far is this: My understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ has increased greatly. Giving up my son for others is unimaginable. It means so much more to me now. The unselfish nature and love that God has for us. How did he do it? I pray daily that Brigham’s life will be filled with many encounters with a loving God. I pray that we can teach him what we have learned in life and allow him to experience life in a way to leaves room for wonder. I can’t wait to see what God is doing through him!

Special thanks to the talented Ashley Mason for snapping some quick photos of our little guy!

1..2..oh he kicks out! Unbelievable. These two have been at it for some time! What a match! This will go down in history as one of the best KWWF matches in history. Matt swings him against the ropes, but Wes ducks underneath the clothesline and takes rolls him up in a small package. 1..2..3!!!  We have a new champion! Wes Howard is the new KWWF champion!!

That’s one of my fondest memories of my childhood. My brother, Matt, and I had an imaginary wrestling federation.  We called it the K.W.W.F. The Kids Word Wrestling Federation. My brother is 5 years older than me and so, he was ALWAYS champion. ALWAYS. His reign was years as Heavyweight Champion. Then one day, he let me win. He let me become champion and I will never forget it.

I choose to remember that. Or the time that my brother stayed up all night with me waiting for Santa to come even though he knew the truth. “Let’s go check again Wes! Maybe he has come now!” When he finally did, I ran to wake up my parents. It was 3AM. They told me to go back to bed. We didn’t. We watched wrestling videos all morning until they woke up.

I don’t want to remember the time that my brother stole my XBox and pawned it for drug money. The time that I watched my dad and him fist fight. The time I cried my eyes out at his first rehab graduation. When he shot cocaine in the wrong place on Christmas Eve and was in the hospital the entire holiday. The countless number of rehabs or that my parents have been drained emotionally, physically and monetarily by him over the last 15 years.

At some point, I changed the way I looked at my brother. I let the bad memories become prevalent and over time I began to think of him as a hopeless addict instead of my brother who needs help and deserves help. I was convicted by a message that I wrote when the question was asked, “Do you see people the way Jesus sees them?”

How would I get up and preach this message and ask that question and not look at my brother the way Jesus sees him? Someone who needs hope and the love of a Savior. My parents had never given up on him. Why did I?

So I called him. Every day. For the first 2 weeks, I never got an answer. Just couldn’t catch him at the right time and a random number is not one you answer when you are living the lifestyle he lives. Then, one day I was in traffic and was very tempted to get angry about the next hour I would waste sitting in it. Instead, I decided to “choose joy” and started thinking of a way I could use this time to glorify God.

So I called again and I knew he would answer. And he did. We got to talk for 35 minutes about everything. It was awesome and I got the opportunity to finally tell him that I believe in his story and that it’s not over. I got to tell him that I love him and pray for him everyday. Most importantly, I started to remember him for the right reasons and view him as someone who needs this love and hope.

No one is too far gone for the love of Christ. And if we are the vessel for that hope, no one is too far for us to continue loving.

I’ve been married for 10 1/2 whole months. So obviously, I know everything there is to know about marriage. So for all you newbies out there, pull up a chair and listen to the wisdom that I am about to throw down.

1) First and foremost, she’s weird. She doesn’t keep the toothpaste canister clean. She’s anal about the shower curtain being closed. She will be fine with the way the house looks until the second she hears company MIGHT be stopping by and then suddenly we live in the dirtiest house in the world. She steals my pillow and my covers nightly. She’s just weird! I’m sure there is nothing about me that’s weird to her.

2) Saying, “I don’t care babe, you can pick” is NOT you being nice and letting your wife decide. It’s you being an $&# and making your wife decide. If my wife asks me what I want for dinner, I better have an answer. This is serious stuff.

2) Hiding from your spouse is a lot of fun. Amy goes to bed pretty early, so when she’s getting ready for bed, I like to turn off all the lights and construct a complex scene of fake-outs and hide somewhere. I will put pillows under the covers to make it look I am there and jump out from the closet. I will pretty much do whatever I can to make her say, “Baby, I hate this…please come out.”

4) Marriage helps with money accountability. We both have smart phones, so that means we both can instantly access our bank account. So if I decide to buy the new PS3 NCAA football game you better believe Amy is going to know about it! It makes us ask the question, “Do I really need this?” Sure there are times when we blow some money, but having someone to ask if that purchase was necessary or not really helps. (As long as you have both agreed to be asked that question.)

5) Your wife is pregnant? This is really an entirely different blog post, but be prepared to wash more dishes, do more laundry, give out 50% more back rubs and hear, “Get away from me” at least 15 times a day. (Especially if you like to pester your wife like I do.)

6) It’s really easy to neglect praying together. We got to bed at different times and wake up at different times. It’s so easy to put off praying together. We have to be very intentional about this.

7) Intimacy comes in many different ways. We are a team. When we cook and clean the kitchen together I feel it. When we discuss our week and what we are going to do, I feel it. When we pray, I feel it. When we laugh, I feel it. Intimacy comes in many different ways.

Just because these are things that I have learned doesn’t mean we are perfect at them. We aren’t, but we are trying to get better each day. I am so thankful for Amy and the last 10 1/2 months. It’s been so much fun and I can’t wait to start our family and continue down this journey of life with her. She’s awesome and scared of the dark. Can’t ask for much more.

I’m 30.

I’ve always dreamed of being a young dad. You know, the dad that in 5th grade the kid says, “My dad is 30!” I dreamed that I would have 3 kids by the time I was 25. I am now glad that isn’t true, because I was pretty much an idiot at 25 and wasn’t married, but regardless that’s what I always dreamed of happening.

I’m now 30 and just barely married. (In that I mean I’ve only been married a year, not that my wife is doing chloroform searches on google right now.) My wife, who is gorgeous, is only 25 and wasn’t interested in the least bit in having kids for a while and that was completely understandable. Also, she would be a high risk pregnancy as well and that scared her.

I accepted that I was probably going to be dad that my kid describes as “old” at the lunch table when everyone tells how old their parents are and I was OK with it. This is the plan that God has for me and who am I to say that it’s a bad one.

It’s weird how when we stop making plans for ourselves and just accept that God is in control, things change. My wife told me one night, “I think God has softened my heart on having children right now.” My heart jumped and I tried to hold back my excitement. I didn’t even look up from my book when I said, “Oh really?” Then I said something inappropriate for this blog.

A few days later my wife told me that she was ready to try. We did our homework and knew that it was going to be hard since she was high risk. We knew that it was going to take a while. We had the mindset that if it happened, great. If not, great.

Fast forward a few weeks. My wife was at the doctor because she was still hurting from some cysts that she had. The did an ultrasound and found no cysts and no baby. They weren’t sure why she was hurting so bad. The doctor was going over a disease that it could possibly be when she decided to look at her blood work. She stopped in mid-sentence and said, “Oh, you’re pregnant!”

We are pretty sure that it happened on the first try. The first try! That is unbelievable.

I’m going to be a daddy. Typing those words brings tears to my eyes. I’m going to be a daddy. A semi-young one at that!

February 5th, 2012. I had no clue that day could ever mean anything to me. God did. I had no idea that the second I stopped worrying, God would start working. I just needed to trust.

You aren’t in control. Hear that. Know that. Believe that. God is good. His plan is perfect, even when it seems like it’s not.

You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21

For the record, I think it’s a girl. If it is, she will be named Riley Grace Howard. (If you are my son and it’s 15 years into the future and you stumbled on a weird thing called a “blog” and are reading that I was hoping you would be a girl, I’m sorry. I love you just the way you are.)