I’ve always dreamed of being a young dad. You know, the dad that in 5th grade the kid says, “My dad is 30!” I dreamed that I would have 3 kids by the time I was 25. I am now glad that isn’t true, because I was pretty much an idiot at 25 and wasn’t married, but regardless that’s what I always dreamed of happening.
I’m now 30 and just barely married. (In that I mean I’ve only been married a year, not that my wife is doing chloroform searches on google right now.) My wife, who is gorgeous, is only 25 and wasn’t interested in the least bit in having kids for a while and that was completely understandable. Also, she would be a high risk pregnancy as well and that scared her.
I accepted that I was probably going to be dad that my kid describes as “old” at the lunch table when everyone tells how old their parents are and I was OK with it. This is the plan that God has for me and who am I to say that it’s a bad one.
It’s weird how when we stop making plans for ourselves and just accept that God is in control, things change. My wife told me one night, “I think God has softened my heart on having children right now.” My heart jumped and I tried to hold back my excitement. I didn’t even look up from my book when I said, “Oh really?” Then I said something inappropriate for this blog.
A few days later my wife told me that she was ready to try. We did our homework and knew that it was going to be hard since she was high risk. We knew that it was going to take a while. We had the mindset that if it happened, great. If not, great.
Fast forward a few weeks. My wife was at the doctor because she was still hurting from some cysts that she had. The did an ultrasound and found no cysts and no baby. They weren’t sure why she was hurting so bad. The doctor was going over a disease that it could possibly be when she decided to look at her blood work. She stopped in mid-sentence and said, “Oh, you’re pregnant!”
We are pretty sure that it happened on the first try. The first try! That is unbelievable.
I’m going to be a daddy. Typing those words brings tears to my eyes. I’m going to be a daddy. A semi-young one at that!
February 5th, 2012. I had no clue that day could ever mean anything to me. God did. I had no idea that the second I stopped worrying, God would start working. I just needed to trust.
You aren’t in control. Hear that. Know that. Believe that. God is good. His plan is perfect, even when it seems like it’s not.
You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21
For the record, I think it’s a girl. If it is, she will be named Riley Grace Howard. (If you are my son and it’s 15 years into the future and you stumbled on a weird thing called a “blog” and are reading that I was hoping you would be a girl, I’m sorry. I love you just the way you are.)