It took 28 years, 3 months.
It took failed relationship after failed relationship.
It took learning one of the hardest lessons I have ever learned and am continuing to learn: Patience. Continue reading
What it took…
9
Grace, Golf and Tiger
There is a moment at the end of every Masters golf tournament just after the winning putt is made, where the shell shocked winner walks off the 18th green and into the arms of his family. There are tears, hugs and joyful celebration. It’s one of my favorite moments in sports. You see, the Masters isn’t just any golf tournament. It is the Super Bowl of golf. The tournament everyone wants to win and no one wants to miss. This, apparently, includes Tiger Woods. Continue reading
Ministry Lesson #4
Ministry Lesson #4 was an easy one for me: Have Fun.
At Cross Point we have a program for kids and their parents called FX. It happens once a month and allows kids to bring their parents to church. I have the honor to participate in this amazing program as a character called, “Mr. Big Idea.” My role is to connect the “Big Idea” to the kids by using a biblical story to tie it all together. I also do a video with our Family Ministries Pastor, Pat Rowland, that introduces the “Cool Tool” to the kids and parents. Continue reading
Safe Haven
Almost a year ago, my friend Ben Turner and I were having dinner discussing a book we were both reading when told me about a place called Safe Haven.
This place has changed my life. Continue reading
Church as a kid: The Invitation
*Warning* this is just a humorous (I realize that is debatable) look at memories of when I was a kid at church. That’s all. But, let’s be honest, if you grew up in church you had the same thoughts.
Things I remember about church when I was a kid…
After every service, and I mean every service, we had an “invitation.” Now, let me give this preface, I am not saying that this was a bad thing. But as a kid, it was long and painful. Continue reading
Church as a kid – The Watch
Things I remember about church when I was a kid…
When the preacher took his watch off and placed it on the pulpit. He would be introducing himself or the topic and he would go to his wrist and start unclamping the classy gold watch. It was always a comforting feeling. “Whew, we’ve got the lunch insurance today! He’s bound to see that watch at some point and be forced to stop!” Then my mind would wonder to what I was going to order at Casa Mexicana that day. Continue reading
Super Bowl Champs!
I remember random things from my childhood. I’m sure we all do, but I am really glad I have this memory. I was about 6 or 7 and I was in my brothers bedroom and Monday Night Football was on. My mother was making me go to bed and I told her I wanted to stay up and watch more of the game. The team that was playing had this cool logo on their helmet. I decided right then and there they would be my favorite football team. (She made me go to bed) Continue reading
Ministry Lesson #2 & 3
Lesson #2
If you work at a church, you are expected to pray.
No, I don’t mean what you think I mean. I mean you are expected to pray the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner prayer. Really? They do know that I don’t actually preach on Sunday’s right? We all circled around and held hands and it was announced that I should pray. I said sure and prayed and then filled my plate. Things were really looking up until I asked which one was my seat and found out I was still at the kids table. 28 years later and I am still at the kids table. I thought the person that blesses the food sits at the head of the table!
Lesson #3
Learn people’s names.
It’s a practice everyone should learn, but it’s something I struggle with. It really hit home when one Sunday a group of my friends were standing around and I wanted to say hello to someone but couldn’t remember their name. So I asked a friend and she looked at me and said, “Wes, you know you have hurt people’s feelings by not remembering their name.” That hit me like a ton of bricks, but it’s true. You can make someone feel 2 feet tall by not remembering something as simple as their name.
I remember a friend telling me a story about Bill Clinton. A friend of his met him late one night at a restaurant bar. They had a drink together and talked for about 30 minutes. A few years passed and he actually ran into the ex-President again and before he could say hello, Bill Clinton called him out by name to see how he’s been. Unreal.
Calling someone by their name instantly gives your message credibility. It makes you more approachable and it shows respect. After that day, I went and searched for tips on remembering people’s names and have tried ever since to be more aware of remembering names and faces. It’s definitely taking some practice.
Ministry Lesson #2 & 3
Lesson #2
If you work at a church, you are expected to pray.
No, I don’t mean what you think I mean. I mean you are expected to pray the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner prayer. Really? They do know that I don’t actually preach on Sunday’s right? We all circled around and held hands and it was announced that I should pray. I said sure and prayed and then filled my plate. Things were really looking up until I asked which one was my seat and found out I was still at the kids table. 28 years later and I am still at the kids table. I thought the person that blesses the food sits at the head of the table!
Lesson #3
Learn people’s names.
It’s a practice everyone should learn, but it’s something I struggle with. It really hit home when one Sunday a group of my friends were standing around and I wanted to say hello to someone but couldn’t remember their name. So I asked a friend and she looked at me and said, “Wes, you know you have hurt people’s feelings by not remembering their name.” That hit me like a ton of bricks, but it’s true. You can make someone feel 2 feet tall by not remembering something as simple as their name.
I remember a friend telling me a story about Bill Clinton. A friend of his met him late one night at a restaurant bar. They had a drink together and talked for about 30 minutes. A few years passed and he actually ran into the ex-President again and before he could say hello, Bill Clinton called him out by name to see how he’s been. Unreal.
Calling someone by their name instantly gives your message credibility. It makes you more approachable and it shows respect. After that day, I went and searched for tips on remembering people’s names and have tried ever since to be more aware of remembering names and faces. It’s definitely taking some practice.
Awkward #3 – The man-shake
I remember a day when saying hello was easy.
“Hey, Peter.” “Oh, hey Wes.” (Then we shake hands) We both feel confident and sure about the conversation that is about to happen.
Then one day, someone somewhere decided that a simple handshake wasn’t enough and thus began the evolution of the man-shake. I don’t know who decides when the handshake needs to change, but it is universal. One day we are shaking hands and the next we are doing a version of a secret handshake that we did as kids.
First up was the handshake to arm wrestling maneuver. You start with a handshake and then immediately move to an arm wrestling position.
Then one day it became cool to add on to this. The next step was to do the handshake to arm wrestling to sliding your hands against each other until your fingertips touch, gripping them together. That sounds weird. Then when that wasn’t enough we added a snap at the end. Yes, a snap.
Handshake to arm wrestling position to sliding hands together to gripping the fingertips to snapping. And this was perfectly normal.
Thankfully the powers that be decided that we were getting a little too weird with the handshake and took a step back. They decided to start with the handshake and still go to the arm wrestling position but now we pull each other into a half hug. 1 or 2 pats is acceptable but can be a little awkward.
This seemed to be the norm for quite a while. We even started going straight to the arm wrestling position to half hug after a while, totally eliminating the handshake all together.
The problem with all this is that no one knows which version of the man-shake you are going to do and it gets awkward. It’s awkward when someone wants to do the arm wrestling maneuver and you are wanting a regular handshake. The worst, however, is when you go in for the arm wrestling half hug and the person was expecting a handshake. You end up with a man’s hand pointing you in the lower stomach while you are patting him on the back 1 or 2 times. I won’t even get into how many times the person looked at me blankly after a handshake/arm wrestling/gripping fingertips snap shake and then tried to snap 5 seconds after the shake was over.
It just gets awkward. Now, you have to make your intentions known well before hand. Like 4 or 5 steps ahead of time. Hold your arm up in the arm wrestling position to let it be known that a man hug is coming. If you really know the person you have to hold both arms out wide letting it be known its time for the intimate real hug.
I’m sure we look ridiculous walking with our arms up or out just waiting to embrace, but that’s the reality of our awkward world. I would rather look stupid than go through awkward moment of when both men offer up different handshakes. It’s the same thing of when you are trying to get out of the way of a stranger. You keep stepping the same direction and at some point one of you has to standstill while the other awkwardly passes.
Thankfully we have started moving towards the “fist bump.” Just hold a fist out and that lets the other person know, “Whoa, this relationship is not at the man hug level yet. This guy really doesn’t even want to touch me. Just bump knuckles.” This is all well and good, but I don’t want to offend my friends with the fist bump. I do want to show them love, but not at the risk of feeling their helpless hand being stuck at my waistband while mine is stuck in between their man boobs. It’s just awkward.
Being a man is tough.
Any horror stories of trying to say hello?
