That’s one of my fondest memories of my childhood. My brother, Matt, and I had an imaginary wrestling federation.  We called it the K.W.W.F. The Kids Word Wrestling Federation. My brother is 5 years older than me and so, he was ALWAYS champion. ALWAYS. His reign was years as Heavyweight Champion. Then one day, he let me win. He let me become champion and I will never forget it.

I choose to remember that. Or the time that my brother stayed up all night with me waiting for Santa to come even though he knew the truth. “Let’s go check again Wes! Maybe he has come now!” When he finally did, I ran to wake up my parents. It was 3AM. They told me to go back to bed. We didn’t. We watched wrestling videos all morning until they woke up.

I don’t want to remember the time that my brother stole my XBox and pawned it for drug money. The time that I watched my dad and him fist fight. The time I cried my eyes out at his first rehab graduation. When he shot cocaine in the wrong place on Christmas Eve and was in the hospital the entire holiday. The countless number of rehabs or that my parents have been drained emotionally, physically and monetarily by him over the last 15 years.

At some point, I changed the way I looked at my brother. I let the bad memories become prevalent and over time I began to think of him as a hopeless addict instead of my brother who needs help and deserves help. I was convicted by a message that I wrote when the question was asked, “Do you see people the way Jesus sees them?”

How would I get up and preach this message and ask that question and not look at my brother the way Jesus sees him? Someone who needs hope and the love of a Savior. My parents had never given up on him. Why did I?

So I called him. Every day. For the first 2 weeks, I never got an answer. Just couldn’t catch him at the right time and a random number is not one you answer when you are living the lifestyle he lives. Then, one day I was in traffic and was very tempted to get angry about the next hour I would waste sitting in it. Instead, I decided to “choose joy” and started thinking of a way I could use this time to glorify God.

So I called again and I knew he would answer. And he did. We got to talk for 35 minutes about everything. It was awesome and I got the opportunity to finally tell him that I believe in his story and that it’s not over. I got to tell him that I love him and pray for him everyday. Most importantly, I started to remember him for the right reasons and view him as someone who needs this love and hope.

No one is too far gone for the love of Christ. And if we are the vessel for that hope, no one is too far for us to continue loving.

Unemployed and 2 weeks away from not being able to pay rent.
Getting a shot in ministry by becoming an assistant.
Starting a community group that eventually became a ministry.
Meeting my wife.
Speaking to a church in the Dominican Republic.
Accepting a job as a middle school pastor.
Communicating weekly to students.
Preaching in Brazil.
Leading over 220 students at a 5 day camp.
Learning that you are going to be a daddy.
Accepting a job as a campus pastor.

And all of it happening in almost exactly 2 years. You can’t make this stuff up. I could have never scripted this. Yes, I am writing this post to share some news with you but before we get to that I want you to take a second and thank God for the story he is writing in your life. You may not be in the best circumstances or where you would like to be, but God is still writing. You make a horrible storyteller with your life, trust the one who created you with it. It’s not over yet.

Or you could be in a great place and overjoyed at what is going on, also remember that God is still writing. And it’s not to bring you more success, but to bring you closer to Him. All of those events I listed, some were good and some were tough, but they all brought me closer to Christ. It’s not over yet.

My story has once again taken a turn that I didn’t expect. On August 1st, I will begin the next chapter in my ministry as I become a campus pastor for Cross Point Community Church in Nashville. I will be leading the Downtown Campus that meets at Rocketown.  I am so excited to be returning to my home church and getting the opportunity to be a part of that team again. It is truly a dream job.

With any job change, you are leaving something behind and I was reminded last night and today what I am leaving behind here at LifePoint. The most amazing, beautiful, fun, Christ-like students I could have ever asked to lead. They taught me so much in the past year and they taught me even more on how to accept change.  I have been overwhelmed with well wishes and videos of how much they learned and loved our time together. I will never forget them and I am so excited for what’s next in their lives. I could have never dreamed how much they would mean to my wife and I.

And that sums up life right now for me. I could have never dreamed the events of the past 2 years or what’s going to happen in the next 2, but whatever does happen – God will get the glory. He deserves it no matter what circumstance you find yourself in.

I’ve always dreamed of being a young dad. You know, the dad that in 5th grade the kid says, “My dad is 30!” I dreamed that I would have 3 kids by the time I was 25. I am now glad that isn’t true, because I was pretty much an idiot at 25 and wasn’t married, but regardless that’s what I always dreamed of happening.

I’m now 30 and just barely married. (In that I mean I’ve only been married a year, not that my wife is doing chloroform searches on google right now.) My wife, who is gorgeous, is only 25 and wasn’t interested in the least bit in having kids for a while and that was completely understandable. Also, she would be a high risk pregnancy as well and that scared her.

I accepted that I was probably going to be dad that my kid describes as “old” at the lunch table when everyone tells how old their parents are and I was OK with it. This is the plan that God has for me and who am I to say that it’s a bad one.

It’s weird how when we stop making plans for ourselves and just accept that God is in control, things change. My wife told me one night, “I think God has softened my heart on having children right now.” My heart jumped and I tried to hold back my excitement. I didn’t even look up from my book when I said, “Oh really?” Then I said something inappropriate for this blog.

A few days later my wife told me that she was ready to try. We did our homework and knew that it was going to be hard since she was high risk. We knew that it was going to take a while. We had the mindset that if it happened, great. If not, great.

Fast forward a few weeks. My wife was at the doctor because she was still hurting from some cysts that she had. The did an ultrasound and found no cysts and no baby. They weren’t sure why she was hurting so bad. The doctor was going over a disease that it could possibly be when she decided to look at her blood work. She stopped in mid-sentence and said, “Oh, you’re pregnant!”

We are pretty sure that it happened on the first try. The first try! That is unbelievable.

I’m going to be a daddy. Typing those words brings tears to my eyes. I’m going to be a daddy. A semi-young one at that!

February 5th, 2012. I had no clue that day could ever mean anything to me. God did. I had no idea that the second I stopped worrying, God would start working. I just needed to trust.

You aren’t in control. Hear that. Know that. Believe that. God is good. His plan is perfect, even when it seems like it’s not.

You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21

For the record, I think it’s a girl. If it is, she will be named Riley Grace Howard. (If you are my son and it’s 15 years into the future and you stumbled on a weird thing called a “blog” and are reading that I was hoping you would be a girl, I’m sorry. I love you just the way you are.)

Most of you know that on October 16th, I will be marrying the love of my life.  I can’t wait, but I am not under the illusion that our story ends there.  On our programs we entitled our special day, “Storybook Beginning.”  While a little cheesy, I believe it’s perfect. Here’s why.

Think of your favorite romantic comedy and then think of how it ended. Most likely it ended with a wedding.  That was the end of the story.  We are left to assume that they lived “happily ever after.”  We wanted to make the statement that our real story is just beginning.  The wedding starts the real hard work and we are committed to making it work.  We don’t want 1 successful season or even 2 successful seasons.  We want to be a dynasty.

Jose Bautista had a monster year.  An amazing season, but it’s been his only one so far.  The rest were mediocre.  When Amy and I look back at our “stats” we want to have more monster seasons than mediocre ones.  We want to set the records each year and more importantly we will never become free agents or be traded to another team.

We are ready for this beginning.  I can’t wait to call her my wife.  Batter up.

It’s funny how you can be in completely different situations, yet have the same conversation with God.  It’s a great reminder that we are never too far or too close to God to be humbled before Him.  About a year ago I was praying the exact same thing.

My recent prayer wasn’t because things in my life were bad, in fact they are really good.  I am engaged and I absolutely love going to work everyday and I’m leading an incredible group of about 130 people called Stretch.  My life is amazing.

My prayer came because the next season of my career was happening and I was about to embark on a completely new journey.  My life was too good to suddenly change.

But I decided a while back that what I wanted for me wasn’t going to cut it.  My life story only has one author on the cover and it’s not Wes Howard.

So I found myself in the middle of my room crying my eyes out once again and telling God that I was scared.  The next morning I went running to clear my head.  I wanted to spend some time talking with God to sort it all out and at about mile 4 I was gently reminded that it was OK to be scared.

As of today, (August 26th) I have accepted the position of Middle School pastor at LifePoint Church in Smyrna, TN.  I’m excited for this next step in my ministry.  I’m excited to be able to pour into these kids lives and teach them Biblical truths that have become evident in my life. I’m excited that the love of my life gets to stay in the church that changed her life. I’m pumped to get started.

But I am also sad.  Cross Point gave me a chance when no one else would.  Pete Wilson saw something in me and mentored me for a year.  I have never been around more genuine, passionate people who live out what they preach.  I learned so much by just watching the way they love their families, strangers and most importantly, God.  I am leaving a family.

You know what’s cool about kingdom of God though?  We are all family and there’s another family in Smyrna ready to welcome me in.

So that’s my big news.  New job, new church, getting married and buying a house all within 1 month of each other.  Throw one up for me!

Dear Wes,

I wanted to write you this letter to remind you of some things.  I don’t know where you are in life or what challenges and surprises have come your way, but I do know how you got there.  You got there because of this experience.  First, I want you to do something for me.  If you are married, go tell your wife how much you love her.  Go right now.  If you have kids, go kiss each one of them.  Go right now.

Remember that all this started because of that day in the cabin.  You told God that you would go wherever he would lead and you meant it.  He did as well.  That day began the deepest valley you have ever experienced and has brought me to write you this letter right now.

Remember what you learned.

You learned how to manage money God’s way.  That most of what you thought were your needs, were really just your “wants.”  You learned about giving and just how important it is.

You learned patience.  There were several times when you went after an open door and made your plans for your future only to have God close that door and keep you waiting.

You learned what love looked like.  Never once did your parents say, “Wes, I am disappointed in you. How did you let this happen?”  They instead said, “Wes, God is with you.  And so are we.” You remember that your mom sacrificed her day several times and drove to Nashville to bring you homemade food and a kiss of encouragement.  Go call her right now and tell her you love her.

You learned what loving others meant.  You fell in love with the kids at the homeless shelter.  You were inspired and heartbroken as you watched a 16 year old wake up every morning at 4:30 to catch the city bus at 5:20 in order to get to school on time.  Remember what they taught you.  Remember how you saw God’s image in each other faces.

You learned to be humble.  Accepting someone’s monetary gift or their offer to buy dinner or coffee didn’t make you weak.  It showed just how blessed you are.  It’s just as important to be able to accept the blessing than it is to give the blessing.  Those blessings will be returned.

Most importantly, you spent time alone with God.  Remember running during the day where you experienced God’s glory through nature and conversation.  Remember what you read.  Remember accepting God’s invitation to be still.  Remember the earnest and heartfelt prayers you lifted up every day.  Remember to be fearless.

Love,
Wes

I believe that was the most important time of my life.  It prepared me and molded me for what was next.  If you have found yourself in the same place, I urge you to hold on dearly to this time of your life and never forget the lessons that are being taught and find a way to never forget.

I hope I randomly find that letter every year from here on out.  I need that reminder.

“Well, one of my best friends, Kate, is an amazing photographer and I’ve always wanted to use her,” she snapped back.

Uh oh. After looking at both of their websites, we were still in a gridlock. We were “over-blessed.” In the end, I deferred to my beautiful bride to be (lesson I have quickly learned) and let her make the decision. We would use my close friend for the wedding and her friend Kate for the engagement pictures since she wanted Kate to be in the wedding.

Problem solved and one early morning in June we met up with Kate to take our engagement pictures. We started at Safe Haven, the family homeless shelter where me and Amy met, and then moved onto downtown to take “artsy fartsy pics.” It didn’t feel like a photo shoot. It was me and Amy just hanging out, talking and occasionally doing what Kate asked us to.

I have to admit that I didn’t think our pictures would be the best. I am just not the most photogenic person in the world and am highly critical of any picture that I see myself in.

The results blew me away. Kate Whitmore is just plain talented. She has a gift and the world is so lucky that she pursued this passion. Check out her blog and portfolio HERE.  Although she does live in Atlanta, she comes to Nashville for work quite a bit and is is the definition of amazing when it comes to photography.

Thanks Kate!  You are a HUGE blessing and an even better friend to our life.

An empty room.  That’s all that is left in the place that I called home for the past 2 1/2 years.  Yeah, I know that’s not an extremely long time, but it is long enough to be sentimental!

For example, that’s the house my “marked change” happened.  It’s also the place where I first told my fiance that I loved her and if you want to be sick even more, our first kiss.  So I have a right to look at the empty rooms of that house and want to hold on to it a little longer.

In “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years,” Donald Miller talks about making memories memorable.  When change comes in life, that’s what we need to hold on to.  The memories.  Sometimes we try to hold on to the “stuff” or “the relationship”  when that sentimental feeling comes along.

The next chapter of my life is about to start and it didn’t include that house.  That time is over.  A friend recently told me, “If you have more memories than plans, you have stopped living.”  I like it.  That means at the end of my life I should have a ton of memories to reflect back on and no plans to stress about.

Make your memories memorable, but also keep looking forward.  The next chapter of your life depends on it.

I got a call from Jenni Catron at Cross Point. She had a wild idea for an experiment. The experiment has now become permanent as I learn ministry firsthand by assisting Pete Wilson on a day to day basis. I’m learning something new everyday and am amazed at the journey God has taken me on. I am so thankful for where God has me and where he is going to take me.

My journey came full circle for me the other day as I was reading Francis Chan’s new book Forgotten God. In it he tells this story:

I recently had dinner in Seoul, Korea, with an amazing man. He was one of the twenty-three missionaries who were held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan in July 2007. For those who don’t recall the story, the Taliban executed two of the missionaries before a deal was reached with the government of South Korea and the missionaries were released.

This man told me about the horrors of being locked up in a cell, knowing that martyrdom was a strong possibility. He also shared about the amazing time they had on the last day they were all imprisoned together. Each of the twenty-three missionaries surrendered their lives to God that night and told Him they were willing to die for His glory. There was even an argument over who would get to die first. One of them had a small Bible that the missionaries secretly ripped into twenty-three pieces so each could glance at Scripture when no one was watching.

One of the most fascinating things this man told me was about what has happened since. Now that they have been back in Seoul for a while, several team members have asked him, “Don’t you wish we were still there?” He tells me that several of them experienced a deep kind of intimacy with God in the prison cell that they haven’t been able to recapture in their comfort.

The words “Don’t you wish we were still there?” resonated with me. My journey was painful, scary and control-less, but I miss it. I experienced an intimacy with God that I never had before and I find myself thinking back on it and missing that time in my life. When I had no certainty, no illusion of control, no idea of what was next…when I had nothing…I had God. And that was enough.

If you are going through a rough time or you are scared to death of what’s next, let me encourage you to take time to enjoy it. Let God develop that intimacy with you that will draw you closer to him as he guides you down your journey.

I gotta be honest. I am jealous of you. I remember days waking up with tears coming down my face and getting on my knees and saying the most humbling words you can say, “I have nothing to offer…only my faith. Stretch me, guide me, love me, draw me closer to you today.” Then face the day and count it all joy.

One day you will look back and be amazed at the work God did in you during that time… and you will miss it.

My pursuit of a job in ministry had given me the opportunity to interview with several places and each time God taught me something different about rejection. That was all and good, but it was time to pay rent. A rent that I didn’t have.

The week before September 1st, everything seemed to happen at once:

- A roommate had decided to move out and we couldn’t find a replacement. If we couldn’t find someone, our rent would go up significantly until we did.
- I was up for a ministry job in Austin, TX. and I hadn’t heard yet on what the final decision was.
- I had felt a calling to start a community group at my church. Should I start a group not having a job or not knowing if I would even be in Nashville? How can I lead a group on a journey with Christ when I can’t even pay rent?
- I had run out of money.

I remember being scared to death and feeling like a complete failure. What will my life look like next week? I had to come to a very important realization that I want to make sure is conveyed:

I had to expect God to come through, but not necessarily in the way I wanted him to. I knew that God would come through, but I had to accept that it might be that I would be homeless. That if everything came crashing down it was going to be for His glory. That what I perceive to be success isn’t what God defines success by. That realization was tough and humbling, but it allowed me to be ready for God was about to do.

Sunday morning was the day all the new groups were going to be announced and we would meet people to sign them up for our groups. I had to be there at 8:00AM. I decided that night before that things were just too “up in the air” for me to lead a group. I turned off my alarm. I admitted that I wasn’t in control, but I was going to act like it and not be a group leader.

I woke up at 7:00AM on the dot the next morning. I was going to be a community group leader after all.

The next day a guy contacted us that had seen our ad for a new roommate. He needed a place to live before September and came by to visit the place. He loved it. We had a new roommate for September.

The job in Austin, TX called me the next day to let me know that although they really enjoyed getting to know me, they decided to go with someone local. I wasn’t moving.

On Wednesday night I went to my community group that I was in but didn’t lead. At the end, someone stood up and said that the group had sensed I was struggling financially and they had pooled some money together. They hoped it could help with rent – it was the EXACT amount of my rent.

September 1st came and went. The day that was looming was just another day. God had come through in His way, not mine. I wasn’t a failure, I was a son of the Living God who was teaching me and molding me into His image. My plans were not His plans, His plans became my plans.

A week later, I got a random phone call from Jenni Catron at Cross Point asking me if I would come in and talk. She had a wild idea for an experiment…