I just walked into my room and saw my bed.

I am about to get underneath the covers and sleep soundly in a heated home. I will wake up refreshed tomorrow, ready for what the day brings me. How badly I take that for granted.

Tonight, me and some friends headed out in the bitter cold to hand out clothes, apple pies and coffee to the homeless. I went into it expecting to “feel” something, whether it be self gratification or God’s approval. I felt nothing the entire time.

Until I saw my bed.

That’s when my heart broke for the men and women we spoke to tonight. They were bundled up on benches preparing for a long night and eagerly took our coffee and apple pies. They were all very thankful and responded in an unusual way when we told them that we just wanted to share God’s love. They would say, “I know I am blessed”.

Could I say that if I was in their situation?

I was the one who got the blessing tonight, because my eyes were opened a little more to this world that we live in and what my role is while I am here. Why should I feel God’s approval when I was just doing what he does for me everyday: showing love.

“This is the story of God: It was not enough to send an angel or prophet or any other, for an issue of love, you must go yourself. And so God came. This is the story of Jesus.” – Soul Cravings

Without love, there is no God. Without God, there is no love.

Showing others love is a lifestyle, not a diet.

So thank you to David, Darryl, Gary, Michelle, Tony, James, Dwayne and Marco for blessing me tonight. I pray that you are warm and that you know that God loves you.

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Quick story about Marco: We couldn’t tell if he needed help or not and didn’t want to ask him if he really didn’t. It wasn’t until we saw him picking up something off the ground that we decided to move in. He quickly and graciously accepted what we had to offer and then said this:

“I just picked up a penny that was on heads off the ground and then you showed up. I was like…Man, that was QUICK! Usually it takes a while for the good luck!”

I am currently reading a book called, Soul Cravings and it has already opened my eyes to what my soul craves. I am barely 50 pages into the book and I have already learned about my craving for intimacy and what that means.

I wanted to leave you with some notes that I jotted down that deal with love. Once we accept that we are designed for love, then we can learn about our soul cravings, understand them and know where they came from.

A few things I have learned:

- There is no subject more discussed among human beings that is more captivating and more elusive than love.

- How is it that the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can also leave you gutted, like a dead fish wrapped in a
day-old newspaper.

- The more you love someone, the more the person can hurt you.

- Sex is a shortcut to love. There is no such thing as “free sex”. It always comes at a cost. Either your heart, or your soul.

- To give up on love is to choose a life that is less than human. To give up on love is to give up on life.

- The most powerful evidence that our souls crave God is that within us there is a longing for love.

- We are created to know God and to know love. It is love that moves God toward us and love that pulls us toward God.
Follow love and it will leave you to God.

- Without love there is no life. To love is to be fully human.

- God is the One we deserve the least, the One we need the most and the One who desires us the most.

- If God is love, it is maddening when we are running from God and yet searching for love.

- It is insanity to run from God and search for love.

Anna Leva and Mika are 5 and 6 years old. They recently decided that they wanted to get married. They didn’t have some fake wedding ceremony with their parents where everyone said, “how cute”. Nope, they took it a few steps further. They packed a bathing suit and sunglasses in a backpack and grabbed Anna Leva’s sister, so she could serve as their witness, and they set out on their quest.

They left early one morning, before their parents were awake. Their destination? Africa. “It’s warm there,” they would later say. They claimed that they were “very much in love” and hatched their plan to get married after their families spent New Years Eve together.

They walked over a half a mile to the train station where police noticed three unattended kids waiting for a train and became suspicious. They had no money or passports, just childlike ambition.

Reading this story made me smile just like everyone else, but after a while I drew a parallel to my own life with it. Can we compare this story to what Christ wants with us?

“Wes, come with me. I want to take you on a journey.”

“Now? What about-”

“Don’t worry about that, just come. I promise that I will never leave you or forsake you.”

“But what will people think? What about-”

“Wes, you are my child. I love you more than you will ever know. My will is perfect and pleasing and good.”

“Can we go later? Now is just a really bad time.”

Why is it so hard to drop everything and follow Him? Why is it so hard to have that childlike ambition that throws caution to the wind? Why did I put this journey off for 7 years and why was he still willing to take me on this journey?

“…nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39

We can’t dwell on the “why”. We will never be able to comprehend just how much God loves us.

“God… all I have is me. I have nothing to bring with me.”

“You are all I ever wanted.”

“When you plan your life on the success of plans that are subject to people and circumstances, your life will be one long, emotional roller coaster ride.”

I read this in my morning devotional and it hit me hard. Like a ton of bricks. I am guilty of this. I have actually used the word “emotional roller coaster” to describe things I am going through. When I make plans for myself that depend on circumstances or other people in order to be successful, I am asking for trouble.

People aren’t perfect.

Circumstances change.

There is someone/something that is perfect and has never changed though: Christ and his love.

In order to get off this emotional roller coaster, one must walk by faith. Easier said (or typed) than done, I know. It’s a frightening thing to give up control over a situation and just walk by faith.

I am terrified of the unknown, and giving up something in favor of the unknown is paralyzing. Which brings me to a plug.

The church I attend, Cross Point Community Church, is starting a new series next week called “Paralyzed: Frozen by Fear”. (Check out the website and take a look at the promo video).

For me personally, this news could not have come at a better time. It is past time to stop making plans that rely on others to complete.

It is past time to give up the fear and become fearless.

Part 2 of my “Grand Example”. Ladies and Gents, my grandfather:

My grandfather was lying in bed, getting weaker and weaker by the second. Old age had finally caught up with him and was slowly sneaking up his body. He was comfortable and at home, it was now just a matter of time. Melba, the woman that takes care of him was in his room doing some things and noticed that he was staring at the ceiling. He had a blank look on his face and seemed to be staring through the ceiling at something. His eyes were focused and intense.

Let me back up a little bit before I get too far into this story. Let’s head back 62 years, back when my grandfather was a spry 29-30 year old. He was getting his haircut in a barbershop when a young girl walked by the window. The barber stopped cutting his hair and then said, “There goes the prettiest woman in the city.” My grandfather sat in silence, but I would have expected at least a small grin appeared on his face as he knew exactly who the “pretty woman” was. It was Rosa Lee, the great love of his life, his fiancée. They had met on a blind date that my grandfather didn’t want to go on, but did for the sake of his friend.

For the next 63 years, my grandfather and grandmother would live together. The only time they were apart was when he was serving his country in World War II. They shared a bond that we can only dream to have with someone. They had 3 children together and then experienced 12 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren.

In 2005, his wife passed away. She had been declining in health for years and her mind had also been lost at times. There were times where she would ask him, “Who are you?” He would reply, “I am your husband Rosa Lee.” She would then say that he was mistaken and to please leave her room. I am sure it pained him to not be recognized by his beautiful bride of so many years, but he didn’t let on that it did. He made sure that she got to spend her last few years with him at home and took the best care of her that you can expect. After she passed he went on living. Looking forward to seeing his family and writing his autobiography.

“What are you looking at Mr. John?” Melba asked. No response.

“Do you see Jesus, Mr. John?” No response.

He continued to stare at the ceiling with his eyes focused on something. After a few moments she asked,

“Do you see Mrs. Rosa Lee?”

Immediately after he heard those words, the biggest smile appeared on his face and he didn’t stop smiling the whole time he was staring ahead. His bride of 63 years recognized him again. Now she was welcoming him home. They would be together again.

He passed away that day.